Honeymoon Horror


Love can be a scary prospect even under the very best of circumstances, but when you’ve got a disfigured maniac bumping off randy young newlyweds at a tacky honeymoon resort, it can be downright dangerous. Not to mention hilarious! In Honeymoon Horror, a VERY low-budget slasher thriller from 1982, an adulterous woman and her hot-to-trot lover bump off the woman’s clueless hubby in a fiery fiasco, then, in a fit of bad movie fever, they decide to go into business together as the proprietors of a very low-rent “honeymoon getaway hotel” on a secluded island. But when three nubile newlywed couples come to celebrate their recent nuptials, a mysterious machete-wielding killer also pays a visit to this lover’s paradise … and he’s just burning to share his love with all his new pals. Could it be the guilty hotel owner’s supposedly dead husband? Uh … duh. Released at the height of the slasher movie craze, Honeymoon Horror may have its heart in the right place, but pretty much everything else about it is horribly, hilariously wrong. Overflowing with “one-take” acting mistakes, total plot incoherence, a stereotyped redeck sheriff with an eating problem, boom mikes carelessly bobbing in and out of frame, a set that looks like it was owned at some point by a murderous hippie cult, laughably bad gore effects (of the “woman gets a hatchet in the head and her wig accidentally slides off” variety) and some of the most over-emphatically awful thespians ever to star in a film that wasn’t a porno flick, Honeymoon Horror has the pungent flavor of an early John Waters movie minus all the intentional humor. Ain’t love grand? (Dir. by Harry Preston, 1982, USA, 88 mins., Rated R) Digital