Hospital Massacre (aka X-Ray)

Showtimes
monday, FEBRUARY 3 at 8:00pm | GENERAL ADMISSION: $4 • LOFT MEMBERS: $3

Mondo Mondays serves up some bad medicine during MEDICAL MADNESS MONTH, featuring more insane doctors, unlucky patients and hospital horror than your HMO can handle!

“The check-up that became a NIGHTMARE!”  Grab your health insurance card and plunge into this terrifically tacky tale of medicinal terror featuring ‘70s Playboy Playmate Barbie Benton trapped in a spooky hospital where the patients check in, but they don’t check out! In Hospital Massacre (aka X-Ray), centerfold/Love Boat guest star extraordinaire Benton portrays Susan Jeremy, an “on the go” gal who checks in to a local hospital for a routine examination – on Valentine’s Day, naturally.

“This is a gift to all lovers of slasher cheese.” – Bloody Disgusting

Unfortunately, once she checks in, she discovers that someone doesn’t want her to check out … unless it’s in a body bag! It seems that someone from Susan’s past, someone who was humiliated in a vicious childhood Valentine’s Day prank years ago, has returned to try and make Susan his Bloody Valentine once again, and he’s keeping her trapped in the hospital after fixing her X-rays to make it seem like she has a terminal illness. Meanwhile, he’s brutally knocking off everyone, from doctors and nurses to janitors and innocent bystanders, she comes in contact with. Can Susan keep her cool while simultaneously keeping her flimsy examination gown closed? That would be a resounding NO on both counts. Ludicrous to the extreme (the silly plot mechanics required to keep poor Susan enrolled as a patient in the hospital as the dead bodies start piling up around her almost boggle the mind), relentlessly trashy (topless exams are seemingly prescribed for everything) and even occasionally creepy (killers in surgical masks and ER scrubs are always good for a shiver or two), Hospital Massacre is horror schlock done right. From the director of The Last American Virgin and Hot Bubblegum! (Dir. by Boaz Davidson, 1981, USA, 89 mins., Rated R)