Kill Squad

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“12 Hands … 12 Feet … 24 Reasons To Die!”
Are you ready to face the brutal, crushing force of the high-kicking, hard-hitting band of merciless mercenaries known only as … Kill Squad? Well, don’t get too freaked, because it turns out these guys are about as intimidating as The Brady Bunch, only with bigger afros and more uncomfortably swollen pectorals. And they’re on the loose in this ultra-cheap, hilariously stupefying revenge flick that’s surely one of the most ludicrous kung fu action adventures of the early ‘80s – a bona fide, not-on-purpose comedy that probably can’t quite understand why we’re all laughing at it! A motley group of Vietnam vets calling themselves “The Kill Squad” are reunited a decade after the war to avenge the murder of their commanding officer’s wife. Luckily, each member of the Kill Squad has their own unique kung fu fighting style (matched to their personality, i.e. “The Dapper One,” “The Jive Talkin’One,” “The Supposedly Funny One,” etc.) which they deploy frequently and without much provocation, as they battle the bad guys (led by ’80 exploitation vet Cameron Mitchell, star of Hollywood Cop and Space Mutiny) and get ever closer to exacting their ultimate revenge, whatever that may be (the script is a bit unclear on this point, but who’s keeping track?). And when they’re not busy busting nuts, flinging ninja stars and staging showdowns in well-tended rose gardens, they’re involved in gratuitous car chases that invariably end in head-scratching explosions. And it all leads to a delightfully stupid twist ending that you’ll probably see coming from a mile away, but you’d better just pretend you’re surprised, lest the Kill Squad return for a belated sequel.