Man’s Best Friend

Better call animal control, because it’s CATS VS. DOGS MONTH at Mondo Mondays, featuring hilarious hordes of crazed canines and killer kitties battling it out for bad movie domination! May the best species win…

“Nature created him. Science perfected him. But no one could control him.”   If you ever wished that someone would cross Cujo with The Terminator and throw in one of the stars of The Breakfast Club for extra seasoning, look no further, because Man’s Best Friend is on the prowl! In this silly sci-fi/horror flick, a mad scientist (Aliens star Lance Henrikson, in full-tilt, eye-rolling, teeth-gnashing “crackpot” mode) uses some secret “only in the movies” DNA experiments to perfect the ultimate super dog, which he calls Max 3000. While on the outside Max seems like a perfectly pleasant pooch, given that this is a bad horror thriller, it is soon revealed that our canine hero has been gene-spliced with various other animals, including big cats, snakes, chameleons and birds of prey, giving him enhanced strength, speed, senses and intelligence (not to mention, dangerously acidic urine). And naturally, when a young TV reporter (a sassy Ally Sheedy) looking to expose animal cruelty kidnaps Max from the lab and takes him home to live with her, Max’s natural tendency toward extreme aggression rears its ugly head and in short order he’s terrorizing neighborhood children, killing the mailman, devouring cats in one gulp, sabotaging sports cars and sexually harassing other dogs. And when the mad scientist comes looking for his supposedly un-stoppable creation, a ridiculously over-blown, explosion-filled battle between man and beast ensues, leaving little doubt about which is the superior creature. It may not be nice to fool with Mother Nature, but luckily for fans of bad movies, the makers of Man’s Best Friend still gave it a shot! (Dir. by John Lafia, 1993, USA, 87 mins., Rated R)