“Millions Of Years Of Evolution Have Just Become Mankind’s Worst Nightmare!”

Sure, it’s easy to say “this movie sucks!,” but when the movie in question is about giant bloodsucking mosquitos on the rampage, you’d better believe the entire concept of “suck” is going to be taken to a whole new level of riotous rubber monster mayhem, and no amount of industrial strength Off Spray is going to make it any better! In Mosquito, a goo-drenched ‘90s homage to the big bug classics of the ‘50s, a bunch of everyday, normal-sized skeeters balloon to gargantuan proportions when they feast on the blood of dead aliens whose spacecraft has crashed in a national forest. Soon, these annoying (and deadly!) creatures are “bugging” the heck out of a group of increasingly unhappy campers, some bumbling park rangers and a gang of bank robbers hiding out in the woods. As the pesky horror grows, this motley crew of mosquito morsels is forced to band together not only to survive (taking refuge in abandoned farmhouses, Winnebagos and pup tents they find along the way), but also to stop the mosquito menace from taking over the entire world! With its tongue planted firmly in cheek, this goofy yet gory horror/comedy/sci fi/action flick (which gleefully emanates a “Tremors on a nothing budget” vibe) features some truly awful acting, some truly ridiculous plot holes and a lot of truly awesome practical special effects involving the big, floppy, fugly “monster-squitos” careening through the air, bouncing off the hoods of speeding RVs, and draining the blood from the buttocks of nubile young campers. Directed by Gary Jones, who prior to this designed the special effects for Sam Raimi’s Army of Darkness, and featuring a WTF performance by original Leatherface actor Gunnar Hansen as a burly, silver-maned, camouflage-wearing criminal who naturally decides to battle the mosquitos with a rusty chainsaw, Mosquito will have you buzzing with terror … or more likely laughter. (Dir. by Gary Jones, 1995, USA, 92 mins., Rated R) Digital