Revenge of the Ninja


“Payback is deadly!”

Do you like ninjas? Do you REALLY like ninjas? Then you’ll love this ludicrous action extravaganza in which ninjas take revenge on other ninjas, and every ninja demographic gets their moment in the spotlight, including adorable 5 year-old ninjas, feisty grandma ninjas and sexy blonde lady ninjas with no pants! Supposedly the second (but totally unrelated) installment in a ludicrous “ninja trilogy” that also includes Enter the Ninja and Ninja III: The Domination, Revenge of the Ninja features ‘80s martial arts star Sho Kosugi (Nine Deaths of the Ninja) in the mind-bogglingly wacky story of Cho, a mild-mannered good-guy ninja who, after most of his family is wiped out by evil ninjas, is forced to flee to America from his homeland of Japan with his obnoxiously precocious son and sassy mother in tow. Once in California, Cho swears off all ninja activity, hangs up his sword and opens a doll museum (?), only to find out that he’s been tricked into smuggling heroin, at which point he’s caught up in an insane conflict between some badly-dressed mafia thugs and some evil ninjas who have followed him from Japan. Naturally, this all leads to Cho putting on his ninja mask once again and exacting revenge on anyone and everyone who stands in his way of realizing his American dream of running a legitimate and successful doll museum (double ??). Over-the-top in all the ways that really count, Revenge of the Ninja features geysers of gushing gore, hilariously inappropriate dialogue, godawful acting and some of the most absurd hand-to-hand combat ever captured on film, including a hilariously underwhelming battle between Cho’s 80-year old mother (or rather, her burly male stunt double) and a nasty ninja assassin, among numerous other delights. Yes, ninjas really DO rule, especially when they have the power to cause seizures of laughter as they do in Revenge of the Ninja! (Dir. by Sam Firstenberg, 1983, USA, 90 mins., Rated R) Digital