Samurai Cop

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“The most god awful example of bungled, inept action filmmaking of the 1980s.”- Eccentric Cinema

“You have the right to remain silent. Dead silent.” He’s big. He’s bad. He’s got serious hair issues. He’s Samurai Cop! A consistently hilarious, bona-fide jaw-dropper of a bad movie, Samurai Cop is a WTF? direct-to-video action classic from Amir Shervan, director of Killing, American Style. The cop they call Samurai (aka Joe Marshall, played by sun-scorched, lion-maned actor Matt Hannon, a former bodyguard for Sylvester Stallone) has travelled to Los Angeles from a faraway land they call San Diego, where apparently he learned the ancient ways of the martial arts. Why does the LAPD need Samurai Cop? Could it be because of his incredible head of hair, which inflates, deflates and mutates into an ill-fitting wig every few minutes, and looks like it going to leap off his head and start kicking ass on its own? Or maybe it’s because he’s going to track down a renegade Yakuza gang that’s been terrorizing L.A.’s stupidest drug dealers. Who knows? Samurai Cop is assigned a partner named Frank Washington, whose main job appears to be mugging for the camera as Samurai Cop punches people. Together, they’ve got to bust a gang whose stated goal is putting someone’s head on their piano. Decapitations, explosions, poorly matched stunt doubles, mangled dialogue, prominent lion heads, and unfortunate banana hammocks follow, not to mention awesome ‘80s movie bad guy Robert Z’Dar. Be prepared. (Dir. by Amir Shervan, 1991, USA, 96 mins., Not Rated)