Strays

Better call animal control, because it’s CATS VS. DOGS MONTH at Mondo Mondays, featuring hilarious hordes of crazed canines and killer kitties battling it out for bad movie domination! May the best species win…

“They Say Cats Have Nine Lives.  Will One of Them Be Yours?” When a dopey city family moves into an old country house, not only must they deal with bad plumbing, lack of shopping options and redneck neighbors, they’ve also got to battle it out with the house’s other tenants – a horde of meowing, murderous kitty cats who want the house all to themselves! In the unintentionally hilarious 1991 TV movie Strays, the ill-conceived concept of cute cats somehow being able to terrorize a family of full-sized humans is milked to its most ludicrous extreme. Chicago lawyer, doting dad and beard enthusiast Timothy Busfield (Revenge of the Nerds), at the urging of his frazzled wife Kathleen Quinlan (Event Horizon), moves their family (which includes a little girl who gives off a strong Village of the Damned vibe) to an old house in the country in order to escape the hustle and bustle of the city. But wait … what’s that strange noise coming from the basement? Could it be the sound of several dozen bored looking feral cats eating the telephone repair man? Before you can say “Grumpy Cat,” our young family is knee deep in psycho cats hell bent on destruction, and no upholstered furniture will be spared during a long night of bared fangs, uncurled claws and adorably cute button noses. While it goes without saying that watching adult humans feign terror and wrestle to the death with distracted felines (and the obvious stuffed animals who often double for them) is downright hilarious, it sure isn’t scary.  And when the evil leader of the feral cats (the “in-demand” Hollywood cat of the ‘90s that also played the creepy “Church” in Pet Sematary), decides it’s time to establish domestic dominance over the daddy of the house in a full-on cat/man smack-down, you pretty much KNOW that things are going to get real great, real fast. A bracingly stupid and highly enjoyable killer kitty gem made for the boob tube and expertly timed for frequent commercial breaks (and written by former teen pop idol, Shaun Cassidy!), Strays will have you meowing for mercy! (Dir. by John McPherson, 1991, USA, 83 mins., Rated PG)