Witchery

Showtimes
monday, april 22 at 8:00pm | GENERAL ADMISSION: $4 • LOFT MEMBERS: $3

Mondo Mondays Hassels the Hoff with a tribute to the cinematic legend that is DAVID HASSELHOFF! Start running in slow motion NOW!

The immortal David Hasselhoff teams up with a re-possessed Linda Blair to turn up the terror in this cheesy slab of Italian horror about an evil witch with an obvious love of bad movies!

“Dumb and disorienting horror trash with some truly nasty kills that somehow manages to entertain, despite everything.” – Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Movies

In Witchery (also known at various times and in various countries as Ghosthouse 2, La Casa 4, Witchcraft: Evil Encounters, and probably, Weekend at Bernie’s 3), a motely group of stock characters, including a sexually-frustrated photographer (Hasselhoff, seemingly confused about making a rare horror film appearance), a couple of swingers, a virginal university student with a secret, an annoying blonde child who speaks like a robot, and a happily unwed pregnant woman (Linda Blair), travel to an old hotel in a remote  part of New England, and soon find out they have more to worry about than not packing their rain gear! Somehow, thanks to an ancient curse and a confusing screenplay, they are trapped in the hotel (which includes such deadly amenities as killer fireplaces, spooky mirrors and bathtubs with drains that double as interdimensional portals filled with disco lights) and incur the wrath of a mean witch who used to be a German film star (or something), and soon, the witch and her unholy minions of the damned start picking off the stranded guests one-by-one, according to their sins, in order to open up the gates of hell. As the gruesome gore begins to fly, and poor Linda Blair is once again possessed by demons, Hasselhoff and the ever-dwindling guest roster struggle to find a way to beat the witch and escape from this insane movie. Fat chance! (Dir. by Fabrizio Laurenti, 1988, Italy/USA, in English, 95 min., Rated R)