Hide and Go Shriek

The price is right and you may die of fright during ATTENTION SHOPPERS … YOU’RE DEAD! Month, featuring a fully-stocked selection of horror flicks set in the terrifying world of retail!

“Close your eyes. Count to 10. And run for your life!” A group of dazed and confused teens spend the night partying in a local furniture store after hours, but little do they know their night of retail raunch is about to be put out of business by a blood-thirsty maniac who’s just itching to slash prices … and everything else! In the brilliantly-titled Hide and Go Shriek, a group of half-witted, big-haired teenagers (including one young woman with hair so enormous she appears to have an angry Ewok attached to her skull), who have, presumably by accident, all managed to graduate from high school, decide to celebrate by sneaking into a closed furniture store, where they will spend the night drinking beer, planning their futures (NOT!), and playing a raunchy game of hide and seek. Unfortunately for them (but luckily for us), a psycho killer with a grudge and a secret is also spending the night, and the games are about to begin! Piled high with exceptionally dumb characters, awkward male bonding (what, don’t all dudes watch each other lifting weights while fondling bananas?) and some tasty decapitations and mannequin-based fake scares, Hide and Go Shriek eventually enters the bad slasher flick history books with one of the most ludicrous/offensive “twist” endings on record. Like The Breakfast Club only with more murder and less Judd Nelson, Hide and Go Shriek is a movie that will make you happy you’re not a teenager … or a mannequin. (Dir. by Skip Schoolnik, 1988, USA, 90 mins., Rated R)